off to houston

we are leaving for Houston shortly.
Donnie has bloodwork at 10. then he sees the dr at 12 for results and chemo at 1.
I will try to update tomorrow afternoon.
Please pray for good results
Love to all
Robin

update

Just wanted to update on Donnie. He had chemo last Tuesday and is feeling okay. Not great or anything but he is struggling with the dreaded mouth sores. Been pretty bad this time, he said it hurts to talk even.
We go back next tuesday, they will do the blood test to see if his tumor marker is going up. Then we meet with the dr to decide what we should do next.
I have been told by people that they don't know what to say to the last blog. I wasn't looking for anything. I was just venting. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read it.
Love you all
keep praying

Roibn

One year

Today makes one year since we got Donnie’s diagnosis. Looking back, we didn’t know where we would be today. Part of me can’t believe it’s been a year already and the other part feels like he has been fighting this cancer for so long. I just want him to beat it already.
It has been a rollercoaster of emotions. We have had our good days and our bad. And Donnie never ceases to amaze me. He amazes me every single day. If someone can beat this with willpower alone, it would be Donnie. His attitude is amazing. He makes the most out of every day and never complains at all. He has taught me so much. He has accepted his cancer and is fighting it. That is a pretty enormous task. I don’t mean that he has accepted it and is going to let it win. He has accepted “this is what is, I am going to do all I can” I wish I was a strong as him.
I can’t honestly say I have accepted his cancer. I don’t think I have even grieved the diagnosis yet. I know people don’t do it purposely but I sometimes feel like my feelings aren’t validated. Does that make sense? Like I am not supposed to be upset or angry because of Donnie’s cancer. I guess part of our human instinct is that when someone tears up to say “everything is going to be ok” or “Donnie is strong, he will beat this,you have to be positive” People don’t want you to cry because it makes THEM feel uncomfortable or it upsets THEM. Again, I know that people don’t realize that they are doing it . But it sometimes seems that it’s not ok for me to be upset or angry. I think I have every right to be upset and angry and even damn pissed off about it. I should have the right to kick and scream and cry if I want to ( as long as I don’t do it everyday) but I have been made to feel like those aren’t valid emotions that I should have. That I have to be strong for Donnie at all times . So in turn, I hold onto to it all and keep it all in. And I have been holding onto it and holding it in for so long, I don’t know if I can let it go. I don’t know if I am even capable of that.
If I voice my fears people say, but he looks so good! This is a very deceiving cancer. Donnie feels pretty good a lot of days and there are some days he feels pretty yucky. Sometimes he is able to play golf and some days he wants to stay in bed. He pushes through like noone I have ever seen. He goes to work every day and if you met him and didn’t know him, you would never know he was sick and somedays he will tell you , “if the dr’s didn’t tell me I was sick, I wouldn’t know” But the truth is that he is. He is fighting quite a monster.
He keeps busy and just lives every day to the fullest. We could all learn a thing or two from Donnie.
I don’t mean for this to be a negative posting in any way. I think that people just don’t know what to say. I always say that I should write a book on what not to say and what to say to a cancer patient and their families. Sometimes, (most of the time) you don’t need you to say anything. Just be there. Listen and let them know that you love them. I know it doesn’t seem like much but it means more than people know.
I will summarize by saying what a HUGE day it is at this one year mark. Donnie is defying the odds everyday. I pray everyday that he continue to defy those odds and I still pray for the day the dr comes in and says “We don’t know what happened but it’s gone, we can’t find it” Until that day, I will enjoy and live every day to it’s fullest and make the most wonderful memories with my family and my husband and count the many blessings in my life. And I will Thank God for those blessings.
I pray every day for my miracle that will cure Donnie but sometimes I worry I got my miracle already. HIM.
I never met a Hero until my husband became one.
Love to all
Keep praying Robin

update from Houston

Hello from Houston. Well I can say it has been a very long 2 days. Donnie had all of his tests yesterday and we saw the Dr. earlier today. I wish I could say that we got better news. The dr said that the cluster of lymph nodes seems to be growing again. His tumor marker went up from 3.4 to 7.6. That is indication of the disease growing. The tumor in his esophagus is stable at this time. The dr wasn't sure if the growth was due to the fact that we have been pushed back 2 weeks and it has been a month since he had chemo or if this chemo has stopped working. He isn't quite ready to give up on this chemo. Just incase, it was because of the delay. So the plan is this. Donnie is having chemo now and will have chemo again in 2 weeks. After that 2 weeks they will do another blood test to check his tumor marker again. If it is still going up, they will change the type of chemo.
So that is my update. I sure wish it was a better one. I am pretty sure that we will be staying again in Houston tonight and driving home in the morning. It has been a long day and he won't be done till later.
Love to all and keep praying
Robin

update

Not a whole lot to update here. BUT we are going to Houston this weekend. As of yesterday MD Anderson was fully functional again. So he will have pet scan and x-rays and blood work on Monday and he will see the Dr on Tuesday for results!! We need lots of prayers to get a good result!!!!! love to all
keep praying
Robin

update

It has been quite a stressful week for me. Because of Hurricane Ike, we had to AGAIN reschedule Donnie's appointments at MD Anderson. When things get off track for our schedule and things get changed, it stresses me greatly. I hate feeling that we aren't doing anything. When his treatment is delayed I worry that this cancer is growing again and we aren't fighting it. To be honest, it scares me to no end.
These hurricanes don't help my stress levels either!!!!
On a good note, Keith's pet scan looked good. I don't know all of the details but it was a good scan. He doesn't go back until next month so that has to be good.
Donnie seems to be feeling pretty good. The only good thing when treatment is delayed is he has a little more time to bounce back from the chemo .
I will post again later. Everyone stay safe.
Keep praying
love to all Robin

update on us

All I can say is WHEW! What a crazy week it has been. I can say that we were fortunate to have only a small amount of damage. Especially after seeing some of what our community has been thru. We lost 2 huge trees in the back yard. Thankfully they fell towards the road and not the house. Destroyed my fence though. I think I am going to need a new roof after all the shingles we lost. I will call the insurance company on Monday.
We finally got power back this evening. (Thank the Lord) It went out early Monday. I will say that Donnie is especially thankful. That chemo causes him to be so hot. He was quite miserable from the heat.
He had driven over to meet Keith (his brother) to get his generator and some gas.
Keith has undergone his radiation treatment and had his scans yesterday. We will be praying for cancer free results.
We were supposed to leave for Houston on Sunday for Donnie's appointments on Monday for scans and Tuesday with the doctor but Donnie rescheduled them for next Monday and Tuesday because he was afraid we wouldn't have power and he didn't want to leave the kids here alone without power.
So hopefully Ike will stay away and we will be able to go next week.
Well I will update later
Love to all
keep praying
Robin