Donnie update

Hi All,
Sorry for not posting sooner. Things have been busy and I still haven’t been feeling all to well. I haven’t felt much like writing.
Donnie went for chemo last week and seemed to be doing ok from it. Tired but still feeling decent.
He went to Houston Wednesday for work for a manager’s meeting and called me yesterday to tell me to make him a dr’s appointment. He was having some pain in his arm and it was red and swollen and very tender to the touch.
He had a dental procedure done on Monday and they had to give him an iv to put him to sleep. When he got home last night from the airport he pointed out that he had a red line down his arm. I knew that wasn’t good.
So he went to the dr this am. His oncologist here doesn’t see patients on Friday so I made him an appointment with the family dr. Seems that he has an infection in his veins in his arm. The dr told him that people with cancer and taking chemo tend to get infections in their veins. He put him on an antibiotic and told him to use warm compresses and if it doesn’t get any better in a couple of days to go back.
Hopefully the antibiotic will clear it up quickly. I know that it has been causing him a good bit of pain. Nothing else to report now.
Love to all
Keep praying
Robin

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Things have been quite crazy here.
Donnie had his chemo Tuesday and the pump removed today. He is feeling ok, he is just tired.
I on the other hand have been sick in bed with that dreaded stomach virus. I was supposed to leave Monday afternoon for Atlanta for a work convention. I couldn't go. I don't think I have ever been that sick. I lost almost 6 pounds this week. And that is not the way I wanted to lose it either. Feeling better a little bit each day. I was home in bed Monday and Tuesday but back to work on Wednesday. Hopefully by tomorrow I will feel more like myself. We found out that Donnie's next scan isn't until Dec 1 with results on the 2nd. Not on the 18th like we originally thought. I hate waiting . I want some good news and I want it soon!!!
Anyway, I am off to bed.
Keep praying
love to all Robin

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our latest update

Well here we are in Houston. I wish I could say that the news was what we wanted to hear. It wasn't bad but it wasn't good either
After Donnie's last petscan (1 month ago) his CEA "tumor marker" had gone from 3.5 to 7.2. We found out today that when he came 2 weeks ago for chemo that his CEA at that time was 9.1.
Today it is 8.9. So it has gone down some since 2 weeks ago but up overall in the grand scheme of things. The dr. decided that he feels this chemo is still working so wants to try 2 more rounds and then scan again.
I don't know what else to write today. My heart is heavy. I want some GOOD NEWS for a change
Keep praying
love to all
Robin

off to houston

we are leaving for Houston shortly.
Donnie has bloodwork at 10. then he sees the dr at 12 for results and chemo at 1.
I will try to update tomorrow afternoon.
Please pray for good results
Love to all
Robin

update

Just wanted to update on Donnie. He had chemo last Tuesday and is feeling okay. Not great or anything but he is struggling with the dreaded mouth sores. Been pretty bad this time, he said it hurts to talk even.
We go back next tuesday, they will do the blood test to see if his tumor marker is going up. Then we meet with the dr to decide what we should do next.
I have been told by people that they don't know what to say to the last blog. I wasn't looking for anything. I was just venting. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read it.
Love you all
keep praying

Roibn

One year

Today makes one year since we got Donnie’s diagnosis. Looking back, we didn’t know where we would be today. Part of me can’t believe it’s been a year already and the other part feels like he has been fighting this cancer for so long. I just want him to beat it already.
It has been a rollercoaster of emotions. We have had our good days and our bad. And Donnie never ceases to amaze me. He amazes me every single day. If someone can beat this with willpower alone, it would be Donnie. His attitude is amazing. He makes the most out of every day and never complains at all. He has taught me so much. He has accepted his cancer and is fighting it. That is a pretty enormous task. I don’t mean that he has accepted it and is going to let it win. He has accepted “this is what is, I am going to do all I can” I wish I was a strong as him.
I can’t honestly say I have accepted his cancer. I don’t think I have even grieved the diagnosis yet. I know people don’t do it purposely but I sometimes feel like my feelings aren’t validated. Does that make sense? Like I am not supposed to be upset or angry because of Donnie’s cancer. I guess part of our human instinct is that when someone tears up to say “everything is going to be ok” or “Donnie is strong, he will beat this,you have to be positive” People don’t want you to cry because it makes THEM feel uncomfortable or it upsets THEM. Again, I know that people don’t realize that they are doing it . But it sometimes seems that it’s not ok for me to be upset or angry. I think I have every right to be upset and angry and even damn pissed off about it. I should have the right to kick and scream and cry if I want to ( as long as I don’t do it everyday) but I have been made to feel like those aren’t valid emotions that I should have. That I have to be strong for Donnie at all times . So in turn, I hold onto to it all and keep it all in. And I have been holding onto it and holding it in for so long, I don’t know if I can let it go. I don’t know if I am even capable of that.
If I voice my fears people say, but he looks so good! This is a very deceiving cancer. Donnie feels pretty good a lot of days and there are some days he feels pretty yucky. Sometimes he is able to play golf and some days he wants to stay in bed. He pushes through like noone I have ever seen. He goes to work every day and if you met him and didn’t know him, you would never know he was sick and somedays he will tell you , “if the dr’s didn’t tell me I was sick, I wouldn’t know” But the truth is that he is. He is fighting quite a monster.
He keeps busy and just lives every day to the fullest. We could all learn a thing or two from Donnie.
I don’t mean for this to be a negative posting in any way. I think that people just don’t know what to say. I always say that I should write a book on what not to say and what to say to a cancer patient and their families. Sometimes, (most of the time) you don’t need you to say anything. Just be there. Listen and let them know that you love them. I know it doesn’t seem like much but it means more than people know.
I will summarize by saying what a HUGE day it is at this one year mark. Donnie is defying the odds everyday. I pray everyday that he continue to defy those odds and I still pray for the day the dr comes in and says “We don’t know what happened but it’s gone, we can’t find it” Until that day, I will enjoy and live every day to it’s fullest and make the most wonderful memories with my family and my husband and count the many blessings in my life. And I will Thank God for those blessings.
I pray every day for my miracle that will cure Donnie but sometimes I worry I got my miracle already. HIM.
I never met a Hero until my husband became one.
Love to all
Keep praying Robin