5 years

Written feb 28,2013

It  just hit me this morning when I looked at the calendar. It overwhelmed me and the grief came crashing down on me all over again. 5 years ago today, Donnie and I stood together in the Valley of Fire, right outside of Vegas renewing our wedding vows. We were celebrating 10 years of marriage a little early. For he was sick and we didn't know what the future held for us. How precious those moments were to me. Here Donne was fighting for his life. How did we get here? I remember back to our wedding day. We were so young. So in love. We had the future in front of us and endless possibilities. that map of our lives was drawn out before us. Growing old together. Raising kids and then spoiling grand babies. As we said those vows, till death do us part, there was no way of knowing that we only had 11 years. In some ways 11 years is a long time. When it's the amount of time you have left to spend with your soul mate, it's gone in the blink of an eye. I remember as we danced to our wedding song with Donnie holding me in his arms, for the first time in my life, I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I had never been more happy or more content. I was marrying the most amazing man I had ever met. The most amazing father. My life was falling into place to have my happily ever after. The song played and looking back at the words of that song, some are so poignant now. 

What I wouldn't give to share another dance with Donnie. Just to feel his arms around me one more time. To look into those baby blues...... I miss him so. 

And I remember standing in the desert, just he and I , 5 years ago today. Those vows had taken on a whole new meaning. In sickness, was our everyday life and till death do us part was staring us down. It was so special to reaffirm the love and the life we shared together no matter how short our life together was. We shared 14 wonderful years together here on this earth. But Donnie lives forever in my soul and I know one day, I will see him again and we can share eternity together. 

Happy anniversary Donnie! I will always love you.

Our song

Me and you (Kenny Chesney)

Ordinary no, really don't think so
Not a love this true
Common destiny, we were meant to be
Me and you

Like a perfect scene from a movie screen
We're a dream come true
Suited perfectly for eternity
Me and you

Everyday, I need you even more
And the night time too
There's no way I could ever let you go
Even if I wanted to

Everyday I live, try my best to give
All I have to you
Thank the stars above that we share this love.   

Me and you

Everyday, I need you even more
And the night time too
There's no way I could ever let you go
Even if I wanted to

Ordinary no, I really don't think so
Just a precious few
Ever make it last, get as lucky as
Me and you
Me and you